Sen. Rand Paul celebrates Festivus with annual 'Airing of Grievances'
It is once again time to gather around the bare aluminum pole and celebrate Festivus, the fictional December 23 holiday made popular in a 1997 episode of Seinfeld.
In keeping with the traditional observation of Festivus, Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky rang in the season with the time-honored "Airing of Grievances" on Twitter.
The holiday has many traditions, but none more joyful (or spiteful) as the "Airing of Grievances."
In a series of more than 40 tweets throughout the day, Paul took jabs at President Donald Trump, Fox News, Hillary Clinton and some of his colleagues in Washington, including Texas Sen. Ted Cruz and Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch.
Paul kicked off his Festivus tweet-storm with a brief notice to Fox News, advising that "this is NOT a war on Christmas. It's a war on everything else."
Turning to Donald Trump, Paul declared a Festivus Miracle, saying that the president could take a break from Twitter on the holiday, "since he airs his grievances on here every day."
Paul poked fun at Ted Cruz who he said: "decided to have an #AiringofGrivances early." That was a reference to the Texas senator's Twitter feud with "Star Wars" star, Mark Hamill over net neutrality, during the opening weekend of "Star Wars: The Last Jedi."
Not to be outdone, Cruz shot back, joking about an altercation Paul had with a neighbor who assaulted him while doing yard work last month. The incident left Paul with 6 broken ribs. "@RandPaul appreciate the kind Festivus sentiments. Call me, next time you need somebody to mow your lawn..."
Turning to Orrin Hatch, Paul lamented that the 83-year-old Mormon "has better pot hokes than I do." Hatch introduced a medical marijuana research bill earlier this year with quite possibly the most pun-laden press release ever to come from Washington.
Sen. Paul even vented his disappointment with a former colleague, Nevada Sen. Harry Reid, who recently admitted to championing and securing the funding for a multi-year $22 million government program to study UFOs.
"We argued about taxes. Fought about spending. Worked on repatriation together. I helped treat your eye injury," the senator wrote. "HOW IS IT YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT THE ALIENS, HARRY??!!"
The celebration brought a bounty of grievances to light and marked another happy, humorous Festivus — for the rest of us.